Death Note Online Chatroom
by Magnificent Aurora
Summary: This was initially supposed to be L and Light's private space. Little did they know, it turned out to be a complete frenzy.
1. First Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. This disclaimer goes to all chapters.**

_First Meeting_

-Light, is that you?

-Who is this?

-I would like you to answer my question first.

-Yes, this is Light. What did you need?

-I'm Ryuzaki. Light, what have you done to my investigative files?

-Oh, Ryuzaki.. I never thought you were interested by what we teenagers do these days..

-Do not try to change the subject.

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-My case files. They aren't working. You're the last person I've lent my laptop to.

-Since when do you ever lend your laptop to anyone? I am no exception.

-Don't act foolish around me, Light. What is it that you needed from my files? Are you Kira by any chance? Is that why your behavior is particularly abnormal?

-Whoa.. So whenever you considered a behavior to be bizarre, you directly associated it to Kira? You're quite obsessed, you know.

-Or is that what you want me to think..

-Look, Ryuzaki, I don't know which files you are talking about and I'm too smart not to mess with your things because I know how much you hate it when I do it.

-Of course, or is that an excuse for making me think that you did nothing in order to cover for the fact of your misdeed? For all I know, you could be lying.

-Oh for God's sake, Ryuzaki! Why do I even bother talking to you?

-Because you're Kira.

-I'm NOT Kira.

-That sounds like something only Kira would say.

-By that logic the whole world would be Kira, you fool!

-Do not patronize my intelligence.

-The way you're patronizing mine?!

-I have never patronized yours. I have merely said that you might in fact be Kira.

-But you know how bothersome it is to be associated to such murderer, Ryuzaki!

-Are you putting on an act because-

-I'm done with this. -logs off-

-Justice will prevail no matter what. -logs off-


	2. Darling Confections

_Darling Confections_

-LIIIGHT!

-Misa, how many times do I have to tell you; you are permitted to using this site for emergency cases only.

-Misa? I am Ryuzaki..

-Oh.. Ryuzaki.. What brings you here?

-We have run out of confections, Light!

-So? Tell Watari to bring more for you.

-Watari is on vacation at the moment.

-Vacation?

-Indeed. He mentioned something about reuniting with a long lost friend.

-So I understand that Watari won't be coming back?

-I am not sure, but for me to further investigate on the matter, I would need an adequate amount of sweets.

-Okay.. Go buy some yourself.

-Light, you should know more than anyone else that I have never ever practiced shopping for myself.

-Well, it's high time you try it then! Go go go!

-I cannot, Light. It's cold out there, and I am paranoid. I would like you to bring them for me.

-Damn it, Ryuzaki! Why can't you do anything by yourself?! Do you have menservants to clip your nails for you, as well?

-Watari taught me how to do that.

-Whatever, I did not come here for you to taunt me with your annoying orders. If you need something, go get it yourself. Learn some responsibility.

-But I am devoting all my responsibility to catching Kira, Light. And to speak of Kira, if you don't do as I tell you, the likelihood of your being Kira will increase by another-

-Stop it right there! You have no right to claim whether I'm Kira or not simply for not bowing down before your commands, you useless son of a bi-

-You have no right to talk to me in that language as well, young man.

-If you don't want me to be angry at you, then don't expect me to serve you by any means. Go get your own food, that's if it was right to call it food in the first place.

-Fine! -scowls- You should be ashamed of yourself, Kira. -logs off-

-I hope Kira finds you first and smothers you. -logs off-


	3. The Kira Card

_The Kira Card_

-Light, why are you scooping your chair far away from me?

-It's because you are annoying, Ryuzaki. I'm done listening to you slurp your coffee in such disgusting manner.

-I would say the same about Kira-kun's killings, only if Yagami-san weren't in the room.

-The Kira Card again, wasn't it? You should try something new, you know.

-Like the newest murders in the Edogawa region?

-Stop it, Ryuzaki. I'm extremely tired and unmotivated, and the least thing I want is you taunting me.

-Ah, is Kira-kun tired from all the killings? Would you like some cake?

-That's it. I am leaving and taking all the cake with me.

-Do not dare lay a hand on my precious cake.

-Watch me. -logs off-

-You're lucky your charisma makes up for your evilness. -logs off-


	4. Conspiracy

Conspiracy

-Hey, Mello. Are you sure this will work? I don't like messing with L's account on here lest he finds out about it, the guy's pretty clever you know.

-You should relax, Matt. I've done this hundreds of times. Watch and learn.

...

-Hello, Light.

-Ryuzaki, shouldn't you be working on the case?

-I have taken a break, and fortunately I have found you here as well.

-I.. I was waiting for Misa.

-Is that so? Misa-chan can be pretty lucky at times.

-Why would you think that?

-To have you all by herself.. That has to be quite the advantage, don't you think?

-Look, Ryuzaki.. If this was one of your ridiculous attempts to get me to confess to being Kira, it's not working. Besides, you should have practiced lying some more, we both know you literally "have" me more than Misa does. You're practically possessing my life now that we're chained 24/7.

-That is true. I haven't realized how lucky I am, now that I've come to think of it. By the way, I am going to buy some muffins from the store, is there anything you want, Light?

-Hold on. Should I be surprised by the fact that for the first time ever you're actually asking me about what I would want, or by you going by yourself to the store at last?

-Neither. I have contemplated the thought of doing this on a daily basis, actually. Would you like to come with me at times? We can buy ice cream, walk on the sea line, forget about the case for once..

-There is no sea nearby, Ryuzaki. Is there something wrong with your head?

-Oh but there is something very right happening to my head about now, Light. Would you like to know about it?

-No. If you don't stop this nonsense at once I swear to God I will-

-But there is nothing you can do to me, Light. You said it yourself: I'm the one possessing your life. Now I would like you to invite me in, Light.

-Invite you.. what?!

-I want you to see me and only me.

-Ryuzaki, what the f-

-I want you to be my cactus flower because you are so dangerous yet so alluring.

-Dangerous, you say? I will show you dangerous, you homo son of a freak. -logs off-

-Well that worked just fine. Now let's wait for the final results.

-Light Yagami logs on-

-MELLO, THIS IS L. NO CHOCOLATE FOR TWO MONTHS, AND ONE EXTRA MONTH FOR THE BRUISE ON MY NECK.

-Why would you get a bruise on your ne-

-Gaaaaah! -logs off-

-Chocolate :'( -logs off-


	5. Decision

_Decision_

-Light, I would like you to help me making a very tough decision.

-Is it about the case? Are you finally abandoning it? Are you fleeting away? I could help you find a hotel.

-No, Light.. Why would you insist I leave this early?

-Uhm.. No particular reason. I've seen how frustrated you were and all.

-Oh, I appreciate Light-kun's concern, but that is not the kind of decision I'm making. I'm trying to choose between blueberry muffins and strawberry cheese cake. Which do you think is better?

-Ryuzaki, how should I know? Tell Watari to choose for you.

-I have already told you that Watari is on vacation. You are officially responsible for taking care of everything sweet.

-Oh and by who am I hired?

-By me. Now if you would please, help me choose.

-Ugh, fine. Strawberry cheese cake.

-That's what I also had in mind. Light-kun knows me so well.

-Yay..

-But I had also preferred blueberry muffins, so I think I will choose both for myself.

-Okay, so this is but a waste of my time?

-Not necessarily, since I were to inform you that you will need to go get my sweets anyway.

-You're unbearable, Ryuzaki. -logs off-

-I wonder what does that make you, Kira-kun. -logs off-


	6. Ryuk's Visit

_Ryuk's Visit_

-Hehe, this site is pretty new. I've never come to see stuff like this before.

-Light Yagami logs on-

-Oh, hello Light!

-Who are you?

-Didn't you recognize me? I'm Ryuk!

-Ryuk, what the hell are you doing on social chat rooms, these things are limited to humans only, you know.

-Oh I know, but I wanted to observe what humans do in their very natural habitat!

-Aren't months of watching me eat and sleep enough observation for you?

-Yeah, but you could get pretty boring with all the brushing hair for an hour a day and all..

-Hey! Don't comment so carelessly about my personal- whatever. Just get the hell out of here before anyone sees y-

-Ryuzaki logs on-

-Oh, looks like we've got yet another friend!

-Hehe, I'm Ryuk.

-Nice to meet you, Ryuk. Are you one of Light's friends from school?

-You can say that..

-Ryuzaki, what are you doing here?

-Oh I've come to tell Light-kun that it's his turn to clean the dishes tonight.

-But I've cleaned them last night!

-Yes but last night I had a conference somewhere else so you were practically obliged to clean them one way or the other. Had I not gone out, I would have been the one to clean them and you would have been the one to clean them tonight.

-Ryuzaki, this is ridiculous. You're only doing this because you want to get away from duty-

-I am dedicating all my duty to capturing Kira. That can be very hard, you know.

-Oh I do know because I am here to help you, remember? You should cut me some slack as well.

-Is this what humans do when they're married?

-Ew, Ryuk! Why would you assume so-

-Hm, this Ryuk person seems to be interesting. Tell me, Ryuk, what else do you know about me and Light?

-Ryuzaki-

-I know for a fact that Light uses his pillows for-

-That's it, Ryuk! Log off right now or you won't get any apple for a week.

-Yikes. -logs off-

-Interesting, Light. Why would you serve this person apples?

-I.. um.. There aren't any apples where he lives so I volunteer to give him some once in a while.

-That is very nice of Light-kun as expected, however I cannot believe it for some reason..

-There is no more cake in the fridge, Ryuzaki!

-What! -logs off-

-Phew. Ryuk you bastard. -logs off-


	7. L's Problem

_L's Problem_

-Light, I have a problem.

-We all know you do, Ryuzaki. You're basically an autistic nerd who's but slightly mentally retarded, but it's okay though, it gets better.

- -scowls- It's my fault for seeking your advice in the first place.

-Alright I'm sorry. What seems to be the problem?

-There is this spot on my thigh that would not get removed no matter how much I've tried to wash it away.

-Spot? Did you have any sex recently?

-For Kira's sake, Light! What kind of person do you think I am?

-The hypocrite type. For all I know, all this while you have been claiming of watching the monitors while in fact you could have been getting it on with someone. Is it Misa?

-Hell no, Light. I have never thought you could be so perverted.

-Then how else would you get said spot?

-I do not know.

-Ryuzaki, you could be an idiot sometimes. Perhaps it is just chocolate that has fallen down on you when you were eating while naked.

-Why would I do that?

-Self-indulgence, perhaps? Although I have never met someone who would do it while simultaneously craving for sweets. But then again, I have never met anyone doing any of your weird habits.

-That is extremely condescending and insulting of you to say, Light. You are certainly not helping me.

-Oh I get it. You want me to personally inspect the matter?

-smirks-

-Goddamn it, Light Yagami. -logs off-

-Hehe, works every time. -logs off-


	8. Death Note Online Game

_Death Note Online Game_

**Light does not have memory of himself being Kira in here. (He and L are chained together)**

-Hey, Light.

-Ryuzaki, shouldn't you be analyzing some charts?

-I am quite bored, Light. This case is not going anywhere and I've grown tired of the same meaningless and repetitive activities.

-Well that's a bummer, Ryuzaki. Even for you. Would you like to take a break and do something fun?

-I was waiting for Light-kun to enlighten me with some of his boundless creativity.

-Okay, I have found this game where you can have your own avatar and dress them up, even go on little walks and water the plants..

-Did I say creativity? Light, that looks weird. Not to mention ga-

-Hey! Don't you dare call my favorite games like that while you, yourself, are weirder than any being or anything I've ever come to see.

-Very well, Light-kun; I have a better strategy to solve this 'boredom' issue we're having. Just give me some time and I will find the best entertaining app for both of us.

-Suit yourself, princess.

-I have at last found it.

-Oh yeah? What's so mighty that's even better than the games I've mentioned?

-There's this game called "Death Note" where you write any person's name in a notebook of death, and the person will automatically die.

-Jesus, that's.. overwhelming.

-Is Light-kun scared?

-N-no! I would just like to say how preposterous this is! I mean, killing someone by writing their name?! That's absurd, Ryuzaki. I don't see where the fun is.

-I got interested by the concept at first sight. Perhaps through this game we will be able to gauge how exactly a criminal's mind works, which will consequently help us determine Kira's thoughts and behavior, therefore we will be working while simultaneously having fun.

-Ugh, fine! But to think that I had my avatar all prepared just in case you wouldn't find any-

-Shhh, Light. Let's try this now.

-Well, here it goes; "Death Note". It looks like the name of some horrific children's novel..

-I wouldn't recommend such themes for children, Light-kun.

-Maybe you're right, the music is creepy but it's kinda cool though..

-Yes. Hey, look, Light. It got opened up.

-There's the pen!

-Is this our supposed signal to start writing?

-Well, here it goes then.. Should I start first?

-Sure, Light-kun. You'd make more of a capable murderer than I would.

-Shhh Ryuzaki, I'm writing.

-Whose name are you writing? R.. Ryu.. Hey!

-Hehe.. Ha ha ha..

-This is quite disheartening of Light-kun to do, and I request you to stop doing that little laugh, it's scary..

-Aww is Ryuzaki-kun scared all of the sudden?

-Stop it, Light. Give me the damn pen.

-Hey! Ryuzaki, what the he- Kira? But you don't know who Kira is-

-I don't care, it is satisfying to write Kira's name in there.

-Yeah, the feeling is great. Who should we kill next?

-Matsuda!

-Misa!

- ...

-Um, I meant Matsuda.

-Did you now, Light-kun? Not to be disrespectful to Misa-san, but she is quite annoying. Now that you mentioned it, we should probably write her name down prior to Matsuda's.

-I know right! She's a devil walking on earth, I don't even know why I'm still dating her. She thinks she's adorable with all the loud blabber and failing imitations to be cute and all the empty talks with nothing more than blah blah blah-

-I see your heart is full, Light-kun. Here, do us the honor of writing her name yourself.

-Misa.. Amane.. He he he.. HA HA HA HA! Nothing's ever felt better!

-I do admit that this is indeed addicting. There, now Matsuda's dead as well.

-*grins* Kill that guy from Sakura TV, oh and the mail man! I hate that guy.

-*writes writes* I'm killing Aizawa as well, I have never liked him.

-Ahahaha..

-Light-kun, I suddenly feel bad. I think I feel guilt.

-No way, Ryuzaki! This is the best feeling ever! We could pretend we're disposing of anyone we choose and that serves great pleasure!

-It does, but I think this line of thought would only make us as cruel and as despicable as Kira.

-Hm, maybe you're right.. We got a bit carried away with this.

-It is best to shut it off.

-Light? What is it that you wanted to show me? I thought this was your private space with L..

-Matsuda, be quiet for a bit and accept this photo I've sent you.

-Oh, you've sent me a photo! I'm checking it right n-

-Hehe.

-Is that my name written on a death book?

-Pretty much.

-You guys are mean :'( -logs off-

-Hahahaha. Ha. -logs off-


	9. Discovering Yaoi

_Discovering Yaoi_

**This is Alternate Universe with the reference of Light losing his memories.**

-Good evening, Yagami-kun.

-Why are you choosing to be formal all of the sudden, Ryuzaki?

-It is rather polite. Besides, there's nothing wrong with changing forms of address once in a while. Any who..

-You've come here because you're bored again.

-It is nice to have Light-kun there to understand me.

-It doesn't take a near genius to guess that, Ryuzaki. I'm glad you came here though, because there's something that has been going on my mind lately..

-And what could that be, Light-kun? Is it something about Kira? Did you finally discover the fact that you are Kira and have been Kira all along?

-What! No! Ryuzaki, Jesus, no.

-Then what is it?

-I've been wondering just how famous you are.

-How famous.. I am?

-Yes. I mean, all this time you have been claiming yourself to be the best detective in the world and whatnot, but I have never received actual proof of that from anyone else other than you and the rest of the investigation team.

-Oh, I see. Would some browsing satisfy Light-kun's need of a proof? Although you wouldn't be yourself if you haven't done that already.

-I have, and I haven't received any results.

-May I ask what have you exactly typed?

-"Detective L".

-Hm, that might not be enough research material. Let's try typing "The Great Detective L" into the search bar.

-Jeez, arrogant much..

-Shhh. Hey look, there's my representative letter "L".

-Hm.. It looks like you're paying people to write these stuff for you.

-What, so Light-kun still doubts my claims? Isn't my intelligence enough proof for you?

-I'm afraid I would need physical proof. Hey, look at that! "The Kira Case" This seems interesting.. "Detective L and Prime Suspect" Want to click this?

-Sure.

-Oh hey look, my photos are here!

-Yagami-kun is without a doubt well-known wherever he may go, not to mention charming..

-Shhh, Ryuzaki. Take a look at this!

-What is tha-

- ...

- ...

-Oh my god. Who made this stuff?

-Is that Light-kun naked?

-Hey, don't look!

-I am sorry, I got carried away. Light-kun has nice skin..

-That is not me! Who even invented this.. wasteland! LightxL.. What is that?!

-These things are horrific but surprisingly enticing at the same time.

-Don't tell me you're falling for such nonsense, Ryuzaki!

-Is that Light-kun getting-

-Ew no no no! My eyes hurt! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!

-There, you should calm down, Light-kun. These are merely fabricated photos of us during intimate moments.. The people are obviously thinking of us as a couple.

-But why would they think that?

-Well, for a first, you are alluring. And as they are saying, I am considered sexy myself as well. That and the fact that we possess equal intellectual levels and are both young and-

-Stop it, Ryuzaki! Explain it no more, I am quite tired of this. I think I'm going to wash my body using the car wash on the hopes that my memory gets washed as well.

-But your memory is already wa-

-Shhh, that is it. If I don't leave this right now I might risk a loss of sanity. -logs off-

-Jeez, Light-kun can surely act like a drama queen. No wonder why they chose him as the receiver. -logs off-


End file.
